Goals

Today in service, ryan spoke about how we can't have the best of both worlds, how we have to choose all the way or none at all. there's no happy medium when a relationship with God is in the picture. either you watch the movie or you don't. and the best answer is--you dont.

the fourth is friday & he reminded us of the boston tea party. the american settlers said no more in voice and in action. they knew they couldn't have all the benefits of being a new country apart from Britain without sacrifice. they threw out a key part of the culture they loved--tea. they just threw it overboard into the water, thus saying that they were serious about becoming something new. severing ties with britain and becoming open to a new life in America as an American.

Ryan said there are certain things we can do and certain things we cant. and now i am remembering, to whom much is giving much is required. secular music for leisure isnt cool on a regular basis for me. especially today, in this season of my life. because i am struggling to move on effectively and joyfully. granted, nothing like say a year ago. but, getting my life in order now is crucial, especially if i am looking to be married someday before i'm thirty. i can't say, oh okay i'm 29 or i'm in a relationship therefore i need to get things i wanted in order, in order. by then it's already too late. i need to start today, right now. and so, i am.

write on a regular basis

read spiritual books & commentaries

write something about the media i let in my life: music, movies, conversations

read classic books with moral standards of integrity--lessen the recent novels/memoirs

do i all i can to be content

make a point to say hi to everyone on a sunday morning, especially new people or people i don't know yet

don't distance myself from the family in any way and write down how i think i may be doing so, so i wont end up doing it again

keep my mind of life and God and love and understanding him and how He sees us here on earth

read the card that the Carlson's gave to me aloud every morning

time heals...sweet

i haven't written much lately. partly because, i haven't wanted to remember certain things. though inspired, i didn't want to look back on these virtual pages and remember what should be forgotten and trampled over.



on my way down Northshore Dr. to meet Abby for lunch, I heard Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis and remembered how easy it was to remember things I wanted to forget, and how that sick feeling crept into my stomach, and i wanted to bend over and get rid of it. and then today happened, and i realized how less painful it was today. it's not as raw and i loved how beautifully time heals and urges The Move On Process. I think it helps, sometimes I wish time moved fast though : )