I met with Grandma today, after work at the press. She couldn't believe he could be so stupid. Stupid. Stupid. The whole family knows already. She said I don't have enough self worth because I agreed to a week and a half of separation.
I wouldn't have agreed to it if I didn't think it was the right thing to do.
When we got in the car from B&N, and I said this was going to be our last conversation, he looked devasted. He took his hat off, he didn't know what to say. I don't know, maybe it's a show.
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Other than, I need to start moving on.
MOVE ON.
Grandma said he's blind - I have everything going for me, why blow it with this guy who's too fickle in making up his mind.
He really made me feel worthless. How can a guy be so undecisive? I've not had that before. As grandma said, they line up for me.
I did have too many rules, for a 23 year old, an adult, too many rules.
She said I need to let a guy know he can call late, when he can't sleep.
I'll do things differently for sure. It's just this time around, with The Dentist, it felt like he wanted those guidelines too. I didn't feel like I was pressuring him at all; he reinforced them.
There is no way I'd say okay, cool, yeah, lets date now. I'm so in. He'll have to work for it, and he'll have to win back the family too. I can't believe he did this. Things could have been perfect.
So, I'm not going to wait around for him. I'm moving on. I'm not holding out for him. I'll act like he doesn't exist, because he already proved he wasn't the great guy I thought he was.
